How to stop giving importance to what people think?
Why do someone else’s opinions shape our lives? We seek the approval of what would people think if we did this or do that.
We lose control over our lives and become sad when people don’t like what we do. How to have more control over our lives and be happy?
In this podcast, we will discuss how to stop giving importance to what people would say.
When someone takes our picture, we become alert.
We make sure we are looking alright. We ask to take more than 1 picture so that we have options to select from. We even look at the picture and see if we are looking good or not.
My daughter, Aarna, has been too shy to be photographed.
Being a parents, we want to take her photo but she never liked to be photographed. And the more I try to push her to give a pose, the more she resisted. It frustrates me and made me think why she hated to be photographed. And it’s not just with my daughter only.
Many people don’t want to be under the spotlight.
They are too afraid to be on stage in front of people. Even if people love to get them photographed they want to know how many people liked their photos and what people have to say about those photos. Social media is making people constantly worried about what would people say for what they post. When we try to do things differently, we secretly worry if people would like it or not. We are programmed to seek approval from the people. We like it when people like what we say, post or do. People nowadays are addicted to getting attention from others.
It’s a new kind of hunger for getting liked.
We would get really upset if someone doesn’t like what We said or did. Such behaviour eventually makes us even worse and depressed. Social media has made our life more miserable. People constantly chase approval. Everyone wants to impress everyone.
People constantly think,
“What would people say if I do this?”
“What will someone think if I fail?”
“Will I disappoint someone if I become successful?”
It’s too weak behaviour.
It continues even if you determine to stop thinking about others. In this small episode, we are going to discuss how to stop giving importance to what people think. Once you learn how to do it, you will become confident and happy. You are going to know how to cut the invisible strings holding you to the opinions of others. Once you implement what you will know in this article, you will have more control over your life. You will be happier.
The Internet has been around since 1990 but the traffic on the internet started rising since 2000.
That means only 21 years ago. Social media platforms came in around 2003/04. And became popular after 2006. Nobody had anything post to hundreds of people before that. So, the history of social media and the internet is not so old. But many people have become experts in telling you how to do this and to do that. All designed to impress others. All designed to make others to like you. All designed to seek praise.
Everybody asks you to jump around on all social media platforms and even offline.
“Oh, look at this, look at that.” Before the era of the internet, people used to just mind their own business but that doesn’t mean that people were not seeking approval from others. They did. I remember that I have been in the same boat. Not only me, but I know many people who were far too afraid of people’s opinions. If you don’t deal with this issue at an early age, the older you grow, the more attached you become to the opinions of those around you.
Like I said before,
“What would someone say if I do this?”
“What will someone think if I fail?”
“Will I disappoint someone if I become successful?”
These thoughts live in your brain – without your awareness.
No matter how much you try, it influences your every action, influencing your every move. They are controlling you and how much you achieve. How do you snap out of it? How do you stop giving importance to what others think? I didn’t know. But then I found out a few years ago. And it’s actually quite simple.
I remember when I first started writing in 2009/10, I would post articles.
Then sit back. And read the comments. Some made me feel good. Some made me feel bad. Then I did a trick. It was only when I trained my mind to treat the good with indifference that I was free to not care about the bad and write how I wanted to write. I stopped giving too much importance to comments. I stopped paying attention to the number of likes on my posts and articles.
The reason you give importance to what others or someone think is that:
Let’s say someone is Robin. When Robin says nice things about you, you feel good. When Robin says bad things about you, you feel bad. If you give Robin permission to make you feel good, you’re also giving Robin permission to make you feel bad. In other words, your emotional state is 100% contingent on Robin’s opinion.
This puts you at the mercy of someone called Robin.
That Robin is anyone. The key to not giving importance is to treat both positive comments and negative comments with indifference. Show no difference between praise or negativity. When you react to praise with no interest, you can react to negativity with no interest, too.
But there is a problem.
Most people are so hungry for praise, so hungry to be respected, so hungry to hear good things about themselves. That it keeps them forever tied to the opinions of others. If you let someone make you feel good, you’re also giving them permission to make you feel bad. The trick here is to treat praise with no interest or concern. This is how you STOP giving a damn about what others think… This is how you take back control over your life… This is how you start living for yourself.
So quick exercise for you…
The next time someone says nice things about you, thank them and mean it. But don’t let it make you feel good. Don’t ride the high. Just let it enter one ear, then let it go out the other. React with indifference. Do this long enough. And you’ll eventually start reacting to negativity with indifference too because you realize just how meaningless it is to live for others. And just how fun it is to live according to your own accord.