We collect information from everywhere.Such as Social media posts, pictures, WhatsApp messages, blogs, youtube videos and so on. But free information many times comes with bad information.

Not all information or messages are worth paying attention to.
We are not aware of what we are feeding our brain. We need to clear the mind from bad information and create space to get great thoughts. In this podcast, we are going to discuss how we can get great thoughts that are within ourselves.

Right-click here to save this episode.

Can you hear clearly one song when there are multiple songs playing at the same time?
What would you hear? Would you like it? There are multiple songs playing and you want to hear a particular song but you can’t hear it. It’s playing but you can’t listen well. It’s irritating. You have to turn off all other pieces of music or song to listen to the song that you like to listen. Once all other songs or music is shut one by one, you can then focus on listening to one piece of music clearly and you feel good to hear that. 

Our mind also plays multiple songs at the same time when we want to hear a particular song.
Our mind is polluted with a lot of thoughts and information. We take a lot of information all day long. Social media posts, pictures, WhatsApp messages, blogs, youtube videos and so on. Too much of information around us. It’s endless. There is an infinite amount of knowledge floating around the internet. Everyone wants to tell you everything. The process doesn’t end with taking information.

The ugly process starts now.
You read, You listen…and you need to think and interpret that information. It doesn’t stop there in a second. It continues. From one thought to another. It creates an endless link from our experience, belief, perspective and so on. The mind gets too busy. There is too much to process.

Here’s the danger!!
You have no space to create your own thoughts. You don’t need to read all blogs You don’t need to listen all podcasts including this. You don’t need to watch all the videos on the internet. You don’t need to read all the posts on Facebook or twitter. Not all messages are worth paying attention to. Just look around you. Everyone is glued to their phones.  Consuming too much of information. Most people are not aware of what they are feeding their brain. 

If you constantly stuff your brain full of other people’s thoughts you don’t even know them.
You leave little room for your own thoughts to flourish. That’s why it’s important to periodically take a days or a few weeks off to unplug from the noise. Even for few hours or minutes. Take a break. Start spending time alone. Listen to your own voice. Create a place in your mind to think. All the answers are within us.

How are you going to do it?
Here’s what I do every day. Just sit and do nothing for 20 minutes. It’s that simple. It’s simple but it’s not easy in the beginning. You may feel uncomfortable. Because you haven’t done it before. You will feel that your mind will go on a roller-coaster ride of thoughts for the first 10 minutes. You will feel restless but still sit down for 20-30 minutes. Just do nothing and watch your thoughts.

Do you need to play music?
NO. You don’t have to. Do not even sleep for 20 minutes? A big NO! Just sit upright. It’s one of the best meditation techniques I have ever used. It has helped me a lot and many of my clients. A lot of ideas will emerge because the fogg in your mind will be removed and the mind will be clear.

Just watch your thoughts. After some time, your mind will be clear. The new ideas will flow like a glowing light. Just like you will turn off all the songs you don’t need.  You will thank yourself for doing it. I hope you like it.

The One-Liner Report:

Why Customers Don’t Listen? – How to get them to listen to you with your One-Liner?

This report will show you how to explain your business in just one-line so that your customers listen and understand you as quickly as possible. Click on the button below and get a detailed ‘The One Liner Report’. It will take only 15 minutes to read.

Most of us are told to know ourselves and improve ourselves to live a better life.
There’s just one problem. We don’t know what we know and what we don’t know. We have an illusion of ourselves. How are we supposed to know ourselves, know patterns clearly and change them happily?

Let’s explore the concept of knowing yourself and how to know yourself. So that you can make better decisions without being in conflict with yourself.

Right-click here to save this episode.

George Foreman was an American professional boxer.
He was an unbeatable boxing champion from 1969 to 1974. Foreman turned professional in when he had a total of 13 fights that year, winning all of them (11 by knockout). In 1974, there was a great match between George Foreman against a famous boxer Muhammed Ali.

This iconic match was called ‘Rumble in the jungle’.
Foreman was more favourite than Muhammed Ali but Ali surprised everyone and knocked out Foreman in the 8th round. It was his first-ever defeat in the boxing ring. He was unable to secure another title opportunity, Foreman retired after a loss to Jimmy Young in 1977. It was George Foreman’s first-ever defeat in the boxing ring. Three years later, not being able to get a rematch with Ali, Foreman retired.

But that was not the end.
Ten years later he announced a comeback, and in 1994 at age 45 won the heavyweight championship titles by knocking out 26-year-old Michael Moorer. The reason for his comeback was not because he wanted to do boxing again but because he lost all of the money he made from his boxing career in the real estate business.

He was almost going to be homeless.
He could not utilise his skill of one profession to another profession. There are many examples of people who were superstars, celebrities or famous sportsperson who could not become successful in other professions.

We often fail to judge ourselves.
We fail to understand ourselves. We believe that if we are doing great in one thing, we can do great in another thing too. We often fail to know what we know and what we don’t know. We don’t know our strengths and weaknesses. We fail often because we don’t know ourselves well. 

Our plans fail.
We set goals and we fail to stay focused. We want to change the habit but we can’t. We follow the process of someone who is already successful but it doesn’t work for us. How many times have you tried to build a habit but failed?

Why is it that a process will work successfully for someone else but not for you?
You can change and improve your situation Only if you know yourself well enough. You won’t face the same problems again and again if you know your patterns. A famous quantum physicist Richard Feynman says: “The first principle is you must not fool yourself. And you are the easiest person to fool.”

When we know ourselves, we can take better decisions without being in conflict with ourselves.
We can identify our patterns clearly and we can change them happily. In this podcast episode, we are going to discuss two things.

1. Why we can’t know ourselves?
2. What’s the process to know ourselves?
3. A magic shortcut to know yourself and even others quickly 

We are far too overconfident and have an illusion of what we know.
It was found by two psychologists, Leonid Rozenblit and Frank Keil while they were doing a research experiment at Yale University If you asked one hundred people on the street if they understand how a refrigerator works, most would respond, yes, they do. Ask them some more questions such as how a mobile phone works, a fluorescent light works or even how a flush toilet operate, they would say yes, they do.

But ask them to then produce a detailed, step-by-step explanation of how exactly a refrigerator works or a flush toilet works and you would likely hear silence or stammering.
This powerful but inaccurate feeling of knowing is what Leonid Rozenblit and Frank Keil in 2002 called, the illusion of explanatory depth. They found that “Most people feel they understand the world with far greater detail, coherence, and depth than they really do.”

Most people think they know themselves well.
They have poor self-knowledge and they don’t fix their self-discovery process. The average understanding of everything people know about themselves is only 2 out of 7. The illusion breaks only when you dig deep introspectively or when you fail at a task. When you have a high self-concept and self-clarity, you will see things around you more accurately. So, what is the process to know ourselves? Let’s find out in the second part, shall we?

What happens when you shake the glass of water with dust particles in it?
If a glass of water is clouded with dust particles, there’s nothing you can do to make the water clear. But if you allow the dust to settle, it will clear on its own, because clarity is the water’s natural state. After some time, the clear water emerges. Our mind works in the same way. To ourselves better, we have to shut down all other distractions and dive into ourselves.

Well, you would say, “Yes, I heard that. Tell me how to do it.”
It’s too difficult to when we sit still and stay calm. Our mind goes on the ride of thoughts. But here’s a fact: Clarity is your mind’s natural state. There is one of the most efficient ways to be clear, look deep into yourself and know yourself.

It’s called journaling.
All the greatest personalities from history had journals. Such as Leonardo Da Vinci, Mark Twain, Socrates, Napoleon and so on. Journaling helps you clarify your thoughts and feelings and get to know yourself better. Journaling allows you to focus on what’s inside you and helps you reflect on your experiences.

So get a notebook and start journaling the key elements of self-knowledge.
Write down your values and interests. What do you believe in? What will never change for you? What do you like to do and what you don’t like to do? Note down the specific feeling in any specific moment or experience? What are you afraid of? What are you really good at and what are you not really good at but you wish you improve? Write down your life goals and mission. What do you want to accomplish? Keep track of your habits. 

At the end of the day, read what you wrote in your journal.
Find out what have you achieved and what have you not achieved. When you write, your mind becomes clear and you will know things that you never knew about yourself. Keep writing every day. Make it a habit.

I know it’s a lot of work but it’s work worth doing.

The treasure or secret that you are looking for is right inside your mind. Let it out by journaling. It’s time-consuming but you should do it. There is also a way to know yourself and even others better very quickly.  Let’s talk about that magic shortcut in the next part, shall we?

Can you explain any art?
Let’s say you have to explain the music that you like. Can you do it? Can you explain dance moves theoretically? Can you logically explain the painting? Not everything we are capable of knowing and doing is accessible to or expressible in language. This means that some of our personal knowledge is off-limits even to our own inner thoughts! Perhaps this is why humans are so often failing to know ourselves because there is more going on in our minds than we can ever consciously know.

So, how can we get those things out of our minds that we can not describe in language?
A famous marketing consultant called Roy H. Williams gives us a clue. He shared the words of Maggie Tufu from page number 398 from the book ‘The Engines of God’ “Show me what a person admires, and I will tell you everything about them that matters.”  

Roy Williams shares a list of things if you want to know yourself better.
Without thinking too much quickly make a list of:
2 favourite visual artists
3 favourite poems
4 favourite stories
5 favourite movies
6 favourite songs

When you’ve made these lists, find out what’s common among them. Your creative brain will tell you who you are. Try out. That takes us to the end but we are not going to finish this podcast as we always finish. 

Do you remember in the first part of this podcast, we talked about the famous boxer George Formen who became almost homeless after becoming world champion? 

What happened to him afterwards?
It ended up well. He made a comeback and at the age of 45, he won the fight against Michael Moorer who was only 27 years old. He became the oldest heavyweight boxing champion. 

The story didn’t finish here.
He was listening to a speech by Mary Kay Ash who is the founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics. And Mary Kay said, “My father told me when I was young that if you learn to sell, you will never be hungry.”

This message hit George Foreman like a strong punch.
He started seeing himself as a salesperson. He developed the personality of being the greatest salesman in the world. He was approached by a kitchen equipment company called Salton. They wanted him to sell their portable cooking grill. The company could not afford him to pay so they agreed to share 40% of the profit with him. 

Surprisingly, he made more than he earned in his boxing career.
He sold nearly 100 million units of the cooking grill and made over $200 million dollars from this deal. Things changed when he knew himself well. It can happen at any time.

What can you do after listening to this podcast?
When you know yourself better, you can deal with inner conflict better and make better decisions. To know yourself deeply, start writing a journal. Write down your feelings, thought, goals, likes and dislikes.

You will see your reflection in the journal.
It’s very powerful. Also, find out what you admire and who do you admire. Find out what’s common among them. This will show you who you really are at a deeper level. 

The One-Liner Report:

Why Customers Don’t Listen? – How to get them to listen to you with your One-Liner?

This report will show you how to explain your business in just one-line so that your customers listen and understand you as quickly as possible. Click on the button below and get a detailed ‘The One Liner Report’. It will take only 15 minutes to read.

We avoid people who ask questions and raise objections.
We are in so much love in our product that we turn off anyone who questions us. But, these objections and questions are too crucial to deliver the product that people pay for.

By the end of the podcast, you will find out how to design the compelling marketing and sales message that make customers feel like you are reading their minds?

Right-click here to save this episode.

Who is the most in-demand in an orchestra?
Many think it’s a guitarist. Some even say that a drummer is the most important person in a band or an orchestra. There is another group of people who strongly advocate that the keyboard player is an important part of a band. And also, the lead singer is the key player, right? They all are necessary but there is one instrument that is the most important even if you don’t hear much in the band or an orchestra.

So, what’s the most underrated musical instrument in a band?
It’s a Bass guitar. Many people have no idea what a bass guitar even is. Despite this fact, the bass guitar is probably the most critical instrument in a group. It is rare to find a performing band without a bass player. 

But why is it very important?
Because the bass player helps with providing the rhythm. A lot of people don’t realize the other important function of the bass player is supporting harmony. If you remove the bass guitar player out of the band, you will notice that the sound coming from the guitar, drum or keyboard will be flat.

The bass performs two basic and vital functions within a band or group.
It provides a rhythmic foundation and the harmonic foundation. Without the bass guitar, every others sound is weak and empty. The bass guitar sound is not easily found but it’s a crucial part of a good band.

Do we have something missing in our marketing message like a sound of a bass guitar?
People make sure their product is nicely presented with cool graphics. Also, people make sure that they present their benefits and features well. I found and You have probably found that people praise themselves a lot and say how good they are. Are they all important? Yes, they are at some or minor level.

But there is something that is a very crucial element that most people ignore but it’s very important.
In this podcast, we will discuss what is the one thing that will make a big difference in how people respond to your marketing and sales message. Without endlessly praising your product, wasting money on graphic designing and talking about benefits or features, you can convince your customers effortlessly. We will discuss two things in this podcast.

1. What will make your marketing and sales message compelling?
2. And How to design your message so that the customers feel like you are reading their minds?

Let’s dive in.

 Why our courses and workshops are way different from others?
People ask us this question a lot of times. We will share more on the uniqueness of our courses and workshops in some other episodes. But there is one strategy that we use and our customers are using which helped us to be different and better than others.

We use one element that works as a bass guitar.
That element is an objection from your customers. We spend a lot of time receiving questions and objections from people. They act as our guiding tool in creating a marketing and sales message that pulls the attention of our readers or listeners.

You should do the same.
Telling people about how good we are and our product is can be helpful but your customers have a lot of questions in their minds. When people read the book ‘Offer Craft’ which I recommend you to have it if you want to know why people pay attention to your sales pitch and why they are ignoring you.

The customers don’t want to risk their money.
They are asking questions in their mind as soon as you begin your sales pitch or marketing message. They have questions that they want answers from. If ANY of those questions are not answered, they will turn away and you will wonder why they changed their mind at the last minute.

It’s because their objections were not handled.
The ‘offer craft’ book will give you the structure that will guide you on how to deal with every objection even if they don’t ask or before they ask. You should listen to your customers, especially the questions that they ask.

Most people hate questions.
They don’t like when the customers show objection. But their objections and questions will help you tremendously in developing and marketing your product. You must answer those questions. Many customers ask and many don’t want to ask. But you need to present those questions up front and answer them without waiting for them to ask.

Don’t wait or hope they are going to ask.
They most probably won’t directly ask you. So, collect and answer those objections and questions. You can use them in your ads, marketing message, sales pitch or product description. Those questions and objections act like a bass guitar in a band. They are not easy to find but without their presence, the music will be dull and lifeless. Now, what kind of questions are needed? We will discuss this in the second part of this podcast. Let’s find out, shall we?

How can we create a profitable product?
Well, one of my best courses is ‘Conversational Hypnosis’, which is about how to communicate hypnotically? It’s available on udemy. . Go to www.udemy.com/course/conversational-hypnosis. Or just type in Google “Mayur Bardolia conversational hypnosis on Udemy”. I conducted the live workshop for the first time in 2013. Since then, I have conducted the same workshop more than 30 times at various places.

What made this workshop so successful and unique?
As I said earlier, our workshop is not only just about dreaded learning and talking but it’s also a lot of fun. Before I officially conducted the workshop, “Conversational Hypnosis”, I conducted the same workshop for a small group of 10 people to test. Because I wasn’t sure too sure what should be included and what should be excluded.

So, We conducted this pilot workshop but we did something interesting.
We divided the group into two parts. There was one group of people who were supposed to ask negative questions. They were asked to disagree with what I was teaching. They were supposed to show doubts and asking me to convince them. They were not too rigid but they were doubtful enough to get clarity over the topics.

The second group was supposed to be ‘Interested’.
Their job was to ask me questions about where can they implement the ideas. They were supposed to agree with me and be curious to know more in a positive way. They wanted to know how to apply the concepts and learning. This practice helped in creating a fantastic course and workshop.

You need both types of customers.
When your customers question you, they have doubts. They don’t want to risk their money. So, they are cautious. Also, there are people who are interested but are not yet convinced, so they are curious.

So, what’s the one thing that you can do after this podcast.
You should come up with all the objections and questions your customers have. You can make a list of some questions without talking to your customers. And then you can add more questions and objections asked by customers. Answer them before they ask you in your marketing and sales message. Bring out the objections and questions either directly or indirectly in your marketing or sales message. It’s more like you are reading their mind. You are answering the questions before they ask you.

These questions and objections are like a sound of a bass guitar.
All your features, benefits, graphics, bonuses etc. will look dull and boring without the answers to these questions. So, make a list of them and include them in your marketing and sales promotion.

The One-Liner Report:

Why Customers Don’t Listen? – How to get them to listen to you with your One-Liner?

This report will show you how to explain your business in just one-line so that your customers listen and understand you as quickly as possible. Click on the button below and get a detailed ‘The One Liner Report’. It will take only 15 minutes to read.

It seems natural to get irritated when people don’t do things as we want, even if we tell them exactly what and how to do things.

However, you try harder to change them but they don’t. In this podcast, we will find out Why do we get disturbed by others and what can we do about it? we will find out how to deal with the people who upset us and lose our minds.

Right-click here to save this episode.

Imagine you are leaving your house in your car for work in the morning.
You are on time but the drivers ahead of your car are driving slowly. There are driving too slowly and that irritates you. The traffic clears after 10 minutes and now you can drive freely but someone is getting ahead of you in your lane and you go mad again.

Things don’t stop here.
You reach your office and you see that your colleagues haven’t completed the work from the previous day. They don’t understand the matter of urgency. They don’t care about the quality of the work.

You get more upset.
Your family members don’t keep things in the right place. Your children are making a mess and you are boiling up. You get annoyed. There are hundreds of people that disturb us daily. Why do we get disturbed by others and what can we do about it? In this short podcast, we will find out how to deal with the people who upset us and we lose our mind.

I and my daughter Aarna have mentoring sessions regularly.
I started mentoring about 3-4 years ago. We were talking about why we should keep our things in the right place. So that we can find when we need them at the right time. I showed her how to organise things.

But she didn’t follow the instructions.
She used to lose things. She was struggling to find her things and getting angry. When I remind her to keep the right things at the right place, she gets even angrier. And she didn’t change her habit. I got really upset with it.

I kept pushing her to be organised.
No matter how hard I try to convince her to keep her books, clothes and toys in the right place, she wasn’t following. After few months of the suffering of finding the lost things, she finally realised the importance of keeping the right things at the right place. She finally learned the importance of keeping things organised. I tried a lot of times but I could not change. Why? Because people change when they want to change, not when you want them to change.

If I ask you a question, What do you see when you look in the mirror?
Silly question, isn’t it? Obviously, you will see yourself in the mirror. We see our reflection in it, not someone else’s. And we want to see others exactly as we are. That’s where the problems start rising. Other people are not just like us. They are different. We believe that others should be like us. And they are different.

This is the reason why we get annoyed at others.
They are not as good as we are. They are not as responsible or disciplined just like us. We might be good at keeping promises but others are not. They are not as good at work as we are. They don’t follow instructions exactly the way we follow. They are not you and we expect people to be like us.

We have different experiences.
Hence, we have different understandings and perceptions. People will always have different beliefs and values. They grew up and live in a different environment. They are not surrounded by the people like we are surrounded by.

They can never be like us.
Why? Because you can imagine how uninteresting it would be if everyone is just like us. We all think and behave in the same way. Would you like it? The differences among us also make the world interesting.

So, what’s the solution?
Well, about 15 years ago, one of my colleagues at a workplace was always late to the work for 30 minutes. My boss asked him to come on time but he didn’t change. So, the boss changed the timing 30 minutes earlier. For example, instead of reporting at 9 in the morning, he was asked to report at 8:30 in the morning. As usual, he is late by 30 minutes, so that he would turn up at 9.

There can be any solution.
We can change the strategies. We can even change ourselves. The best thing to not getting frustrated because people don’t change is to just stop expecting people to change. We get disturbed because we want people to change. We are also seen different from the eyes of many.

People who are better than us might be disturbed by the way we do things. So, Accept that people are coming from different places and environments. They will be different from us so don’t try to change.

The One-Liner Report:

Why Customers Don’t Listen? – How to get them to listen to you with your One-Liner?

This report will show you how to explain your business in just one-line so that your customers listen and understand you as quickly as possible. Click on the button below and get a detailed ‘The One Liner Report’. It will take only 15 minutes to read.

Why does someone else’s opinions shape our life?
We seek the approval of what would people think if we do this or do that. We lose control over our lives and become sad when people don’t like what we do.

How to have more control over our lives and be happy?
In this podcast, we will discuss how to stop giving importance to what people would say?

Right-click here to save this episode.

When someone takes our picture, we become alert.
We make sure we are looking alright. We ask to take more than 1 picture so that we have options to select from. We even look at the picture and see if we are looking good or not.

My daughter, Aarna, has been too shy to be photographed.
Being a parents, we want to take her photo but she never liked to be photographed. And the more I try to push her to give a pose, the more she resisted. It frustrates me and made me think why she hated to be photographed. And it’s not just with my daughter only.

Many people don’t want to be under the spotlight.
They are too afraid to be on stage in front of people. Even if people love to get them photographed they want to know how many people liked their photos and what people have to say about those photos. Social media is making people constantly worried about what would people say for what they post. When we try to do things differently, we secretly worry if people would like it or not. We are programmed to seek approval from the people. We like it when people like what we say, post or do. People nowadays are addicted to getting attention from others.

It’s a new kind of hunger for getting liked.
We would get really upset if someone doesn’t like what We said or did. Such behaviour eventually makes us even worse and depressed. Social media has made our life more miserable. People constantly chase approval. Everyone wants to impress everyone.

People constantly think,
“What would people say if I do this?”
“What will someone think if I fail?”
“Will I disappoint someone if I become successful?”

It’s too weak behaviour.
It continues even if you determine to stop thinking about others. In this small episode, we are going to discuss how to stop giving importance to what people think. Once you learn how to do it, you will become confident and happy. You are going to know how to cut the invisible strings holding you to the opinions of others. Once you implement what you will know in this article, you will have more control over your life. You will be happier.

The Internet has been around since 1990 but the traffic on the internet started rising since 2000.
That means only 21 years ago. Social media platforms came in around 2003/04. And became popular after 2006. Nobody had anything post to hundreds of people before that. So, the history of social media and the internet is not so old. But many people have become experts in telling you how to do this and to do that. All designed to impress others. All designed to make others to like you. All designed to seek praise.

Everybody asks you to jump around on all social media platforms and even offline.
“Oh, look at this, look at that.” Before the era of the internet, people used to just mind their own business but that doesn’t mean that people were not seeking approval from others. They did. I remember that I have been in the same boat. Not only me, but I know many people who were far too afraid of people’s opinions. If you don’t deal with this issue at an early age, the older you grow, the more attached you become to the opinions of those around you.

Like I said before,
“What would someone say if I do this?”
“What will someone think if I fail?”
“Will I disappoint someone if I become successful?”

These thoughts live in your brain – without your awareness.
No matter how much you try, it influences your every action, influencing your every move. They are controlling you and how much you achieve. How do you snap out of it? How do you stop giving importance to what others think? I didn’t know. But then I found out a few years ago. And it’s actually quite simple.

I remember when I first started writing in 2009/10, I would post articles.
Then sit back. And read the comments. Some made me feel good. Some made me feel bad. Then I did a trick. It was only when I trained my mind to treat the good with indifference that I was free to not care about the bad and write how I wanted to write. I stopped giving too much importance to comments. I stopped paying attention to the number of likes on my posts and articles.

The reason you give importance to what others or someone think is that:
Let’s say someone is Robin. When Robin says nice things about you, you feel good. When Robin says bad things about you, you feel bad. If you give Robin permission to make you feel good, you’re also giving Robin permission to make you feel bad. In other words, your emotional state is 100% contingent on Robin’s opinion.

This puts you at the mercy of someone called Robin.
That Robin is anyone. The key to not giving importance is to treat both positive comments and negative comments with indifference. Show no difference between praise or negativity. When you react to praise with no interest, you can react to negativity with no interest, too.

But there is a problem.
Most people are so hungry for praise, so hungry to be respected, so hungry to hear good things about themselves. That it keeps them forever tied to the opinions of others. If you let someone make you feel good, you’re also giving them permission to make you feel bad. The trick here is to treat praise with no interest or concern. This is how you STOP giving a damn about what others think… This is how you take back control over your life… This is how you start living for yourself.

So quick exercise for you…
The next time someone says nice things about you, thank them and mean it. But don’t let it make you feel good. Don’t ride the high. Just let it enter one ear, then let it go out the other. React with indifference. Do this long enough. And you’ll eventually start reacting to negativity with indifference too because you realize just how meaningless it is to live for others. And just how fun it is to live according to your own accord.

The One-Liner Report:

Why Customers Don’t Listen? – How to get them to listen to you with your One-Liner?

This report will show you how to explain your business in just one-line so that your customers listen and understand you as quickly as possible. Click on the button below and get a detailed ‘The One Liner Report’. It will take only 15 minutes to read.

Is disagreement annoying you or gets you excited? What happens if someone challenges you and how do you use it to improve? It sounds good to accept disagreement but how to create an environment where people accept disagreement without creating a toxic environment?

In this podcast, we will discuss, why is it good if you have someone who challenges you? Also, how to encourage disagreement in the organisation as well as how to disagree without making others feel bad?

Right-click here to save this episode.

Alfred P. Sloan was the mastermind behind the rise of General Motors during the 20th century.
Alfred Sloan is one of the best CEO in the history of the automobile industry.  He got the General Motors company out of bankruptcy. Under Sloan’s smart management, GM surpassed the Ford Motor Company in American automobile sales in the late 1920s and eventually became the largest business corporation in the world. When he joined General Motors, the company was near bankruptcy but he turned the whole company from almost bankruptcy to the most dominating automobile company in America.

He had a great way to find ideas to deal with challenges.
One day, during a committee meeting, Sloan interrupted with a question: “Gentleman, I take it we are all in complete agreement over here?” When everyone nodded, Sloan dismissed them: “Then I propose we postpone further discussion of this matter until our next meeting to give ourselves time to develop disagreement and perhaps gain some understanding of what this decision is about.”

He asked people to come up with arguments to disagree.
It may sound strange because usually, we find that the top leader wants others to agree with him. But Alfred Sloan turned the company around and became one of the most successful CEO of a company.

Because he encouraged disagreement as something that helps them to move forward.
Disagreements lead to better decision making. It leads to better work. We all have blind spots. There are many things that others can see but we can never see. This is what causes a lot of failures and setbacks. In our culture and society, we have been asked to agree with people because we don’t want to make others feel bad about themselves.  And we don’t want to feel bad too.

We also want people to agree with us and we simply deny the points people disagree with.
In this podcast, we will find out how you can take advantage of disagreement. We will also discuss, how to encourage disagreement effectively without becoming toxic and leading to drama. We will talk about 3 things in this podcast,

1. Why is it good to have someone who challenges you?
2. How to encourage disagreement effectively?
3. How to disagree without making others feel bad?

1. How do you react if someone is challenging you?

Will you get better or will you be annoyed?
There was a scientist called Robert Hooke. He was an English physicist and he was known for his discovery of the law of elasticity. It’s famously known as ‘Hooke’s law’. He was the curator of experiments in the Royal Society of London. He also built the first Gregorian Telescope and many more things.

But we are not here to talk about Robert Hooke only.
He is the reason why Isaac Newton has been one of the greatest scientists in history. Robert Hooke and Newton were working together. And Robert Hooke was questioning Newton because Hooke did not like Newton.

But Newton did not get upset.
Instead, he worked even harder on his projects. He spent even more time on finding more proof. He became better because there was always someone like Robert Hooke who was looking over the shoulder of Newton.

Questions lead to clarity.
We need someone who questions us. Doing something new is always complicated to explain. And that is good. When you introduce a new product or concept, not many people actually understand you. If you don’t have people or at least someone who ask you questions and challenge you, you will probably take longer to figure out what’s wrong with you or your product. Also, you will not know if you have taken the right decision or not.

You probably won’t even know if you are not challenged.
It’s difficult to be better. So, it’s good if there is someone who challenges you and you answer those challenges without feeling bad. But what if people bad and don’t want to make you feel bad when they disagree with you. Because in many cultures, it’s not allowed to disagree with people. How to deal with such a problem? Let’s find out in the second part, shall we?

2. How to encourage disagreement effectively?

How to encourage disagreement effectively?
In many cultures, it is not allowed to disagree with the superiors. It happened with Korean Air which is an official airline company of South Korea. A plane of Korena Air called Flight 801 crashed in 1997. When it was ready to land, the weather was not good. There was very limited visibility and the instrument landing system wasn’t working. The instrument landing system is a radio navigation system that guides the aircraft to approach a runway at night or in bad weather. 

So the plane got crashed and killed 228 people.
During the investigation, it was found from the recording of the BlackBox that one of the pilots disagreed with the decision. Instead of directly disagreeing, he used diplomatic language. He said, “Don’t you think it’s raining a lot?”

It sounds like he didn’t want to offend the other pilot.
The lives could’ve been saved if he had disagreed with clear instructions. It’s considered disrespectful to disagree with others in many organisations, society and countries. Most people avoid making others’ feel bad by disagreeing with them.  Korean Air had so many crashes between 1988 to 1998. The airline faced severe criticism for the poor safety issues. And it was mainly because nobody wanted to disagree with their teammates. 

They were asked to speak up and disagree.
This system was introduced by a retired president from Delta Airlines. He asked people to change the language of communication from Korean to English. It was crucial because the Korean language has not many words and phrases to disagree with others.

They strictly change this culture of worshipping the superior.
As a result, the errors were reduced dramatically. People developed the habit and culture of being assertive. And within just one year, means since 1999, Korean Air has zero crash record. They won awards for one of the safest airlines in the world.

To build a strong business, you must build a culture where anyone can disagree.
The company will never perform well where the superiors and bosses love to be surrounded by people who always agree with them. But there is also a danger of creating a toxic environment. People don’t always like to give and receive complaints. Some people love to complain all the time. So, how to disagree without feeling like complaining. Let’s discuss this in the last part of this podcast.

3. How to disagree without making others feel bad?

What’s the reason behind people get divorced?
We can fairly say that the couple leads to divorce because of anger issues. But an expert John Gottman has a different opinion. It’s not anger that causes the couple to get separated. It’s disrespect.

Divorce happens when a person disrespects the partner.
No relationship can thrive and turn out to be productive if they don’t respect each other. Whether it’s a family, friendship, business or organisation. In every organisation, to build a productive and healthy environment, everyone needs to respect each other. The team can not make a better decision when they don’t respect each other. If anyone thinks of being mighty and impossible to disagree with, there is no way they can make a better decision. 

John Gottman suggests the difference between ‘complaining’ and ‘Criticising’.
For example, How do you feel if someone tells you, “You didn’t clean your room and take out the trash.” And how do you feel if someone tells you, “You are too lazy and irresponsible. You didn’t bother to clean the room.”

You can disagree with others without blaming the character of the others.
When you disagree, focus on the task or the decision. Focus on creating a culture and environment where people are allowed to share their opinion without targeting the character of others. Moreover, encourage people to disagree without disrespecting others. No business or organisation can thrive by disrespecting others. 

Allow people to ask questions and challenge others.
At the same time, disagreement must not lead to a toxic relationship and culture. Encourage people to disagree and strongly discourage criticizing the person.

The One-Liner Report:

Why Customers Don’t Listen? – How to get them to listen to you with your One-Liner?

This report will show you how to explain your business in just one-line so that your customers listen and understand you as quickly as possible. Click on the button below and get a detailed ‘The One Liner Report’. It will take only 15 minutes to read.