If anyone tells you that you are the average of 5 people you work with, It’s not always true.
When you are around highly talented and successful people, you are likely to get demotivated and depressed.

These successful people can be good as well as bad for you.
Fortunately, there is a way to stay with such people and become successful without feeling depressed and unhappy.
In this podcast, you will know how to find the right successful people that can accelerate your success even if you feel dumb among them.

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What mental health experts makes wonder in developed and rich countries?
It’s been noticed that some of the most developed countries USA, Australia, Japan have a higher ratio of patients of depression and anxiety. They consume far too many anti-depressants. Surprisingly, underdeveloped and developing nations are found happier. The countries like Brazil, Somalia, Mexico, Iraq have lesser number of patients who suffer from depression and anxiety. They have reasonably better mental health than the rich and developed countries.

Something is even more shocking!
The developed countries have a higher rate of suicide than the underdeveloped and developing countries. The rich countries have good nutritions, opportunities, lesser hardships and lesser life-threatening situations. Whereas the people in poor countries have the problems of starvation, poor medical facilities and in some countries, they have a constant battle between life and death such as Iraq, Somalia, Palestine.

It’s not about the countries but it also applies to us and people around us.
People who are rich are feeling far more depressed and unhappy compared to those who are struggling to fulfil their basic needs. You or some people around you have also experienced the same. In a developed country, where the average IQ is high and they are considered more intelligent than the underdeveloped countries. It’s been said that we are the average of 5 people we spend time. In developed countries, people are considered more successful. But they are also less happy than underdeveloped countries.

But why does our success makes us unhappy?
There are some psychological studies that can prove that we feel unhappy when we are having what most people don’t. But isn’t it necessary to grow and prosper!?? Of course, it is. We must develop and become better. There are some ways we are going to discuss that can make us successful and happier. There are also some ways to deal with the problems along the way that keeps us going ahead and help us stay happy regardless of any big problems.

In this podcast, we are going to discuss 3 things.

1. Why many successful people are surprisingly not happier than most poor people?
2. How can you be successful and be happy too?
3. How to deal with any big stressful events and still be happy?

Let’s dive into the first part.

A famous social scientist called, Samuel Stouffer conducted a very big survey on American soldiers.
He asked more than half a million soldiers to fill up a questionnaire. He didn’t ask 5-10 questions. He asked more than 200 questions. That’s a lot of questions. The questions were about various aspects such as their facilities, wages, succession program and many more. Then all answers were compiled and were examined. After doing the survey, Samuel Stouffer came to a conclusion.

He was surprised by the results.
He realises that many soldiers who were in the higher cadre were found unhappy. Whereas the soldiers who were in the lower cadre were found happier than the higher cadre soldiers.

How can it happen?
The lower level soldiers aspire to go to a higher level because they think the higher they go, their life becomes better. Army officials at the higher level gain more authority, respect and prestige. They also compare themselves with other officials at their level. The soldiers at a high level, their competition is not limited to the soldiers in their unit but with the more units. The growing competitions make them frustrated. It gets difficult for them to climb higher in the hierarchy because the number of positions is getting smaller and more people are chasing the dream position. It’s not the same as the bottom level. That’s why the soldiers at the bottom level are happier.

Many people are shouting at social media to level up your game or 10X your game.
There is a flip side of growth. As soon as you go higher and become more successful, your competition never ends. In fact, it increases and it gets brutal. This phenomenon is called ‘Relative deprivation theory. One weird thing they found. Soldiers in high-status units were generally less happy than soldiers in low-status units doing grunt work. Even though high-status unit soldiers had better career opportunities and were regarded in high esteem, they were unhappier. And that’s because the soldiers measure themselves based on their immediate surroundings. They would compare themselves with other soldiers within their units – and not the whole army.

You have probably heard that you are the average of 5 people you spend time with and it’s not always right!!!
Your talent will not help you if you are surrounded by highly successful and talented people. If you are surrounded by highly talented people or competing with them, it will also have an opposite effect. You will relate yourself with them and you will not feel smarter. It will make you feel dumb and feel nervous about it. Success in life is not correlated with how smart you are, but how smart you ‘feel’ relative to people around you at your level. So, should we spend time with or work with more successful people or not? The answer is ‘YES’ and ‘NO’. Let’s find in the second part, shall we?

I was reading the book “David and Goliath” by Malcolm Gladwell.
He presents some interesting research on how students who want to study say engineering perform at Ivy League, means some of the prestigious schools vs less prestigious schools. More, than half of all American students who start out in science, technology, and math (STEM) programs drop out after their first or second year. To get a sense of who is dropping out-and why let’s take a look at the science enrolment of a school in upstate New York called Hartwick College. Now, I can’t share the exact statistics here. Because it’s long and in so much detail. You can find on google.

They observed something strange.
The students in the bottom third of the Harvard class drop out of math and science just as much as the students at Hartwick. And, Harvard has the same distribution of science degrees as Hartwick. There is a group of students who have around 600 on the current SAT exam. Some of them attend Hartwick and some attend Harvard. Each is studying the same textbooks [in general] and wrestling with the same concepts and trying to master the same problem sets in courses like advanced calculus and organic chemistry. But, the majority of Hartwick students [who had a 600] get what they want and end up as engineers or biologists.

But things were not the same with Harvard students.
The Harvard students [who had a 600]-go to the far more prestigious school-are so demoralized by their experience that many of them drop out of science entirely and transfer to some non-science major. The Harvard students who scored 600 are little fish in a very big and scary pond. The Hartwick students who scored 600 are big fish in a very welcoming and small pond. What matters is not just how smart you are. As we discussed in the first part, It’s how smart you feel relative to the other people in your classroom.

Now, the question remains the same. Should we have people around us who are sharper and more brilliant than us?
According to Malcolm Gladwell, It’s good to be a big fish in a small pond. But it may not be a good idea. It works in both ways. It can serve you as well as destroy you. If you have equally or more talented people in your team, they can lift you up. They can improve your standards. They will motivate you to perform better. The energy in the team makes you productive. They also make you believe you are an above average.

But, they can discourage you too.
More skilled people around you will demotivate you because no matter how hard you try, you find it difficult to outperform them. If you consistently fail to reach their level. It makes you feel dumber. When you constantly gauge your performance with successful and talented people around you, it makes you feel inferior. These emotions can drag you down. The reason richer countries have higher suicide rates than poorer countries is that unsuccessful people in those countries can’t cope well. An unsuccessful person in Japan could retire and live a lavish life in Iraq. But that doesn’t matter if he can’t cope with his feelings of failure in Japan. How to deal with this emotion of feeling dumb and low against others? How to feel a happy and great person in a room full of smart and successful people? Let’s find out in the third and final part of the podcast, shall we?

Disasters can have a life-altering impact on the individuals and families fortunate enough to survive them.
Whether it’s 9/11, Tsunami, earthquakes, bomb blasts, the effect of natural disasters can be felt at the community, city and country level, or many times can impact psychologically. Many people feel really depressed after the experience. It becomes very difficult to come out of the trauma.

Sometimes it takes not only days but years to recover.
I know someone who narrowly escaped the terror attack on 7th July 2005 in London. She was in the same tube train at Liverpool Street Station where one of the bombs exploded. She was severely depressed. It took her almost a year or two to recover. People who directly experience tragic events face Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. They keep getting traumatic memories. It’s quite important to learn to deal with such depression.

Israel deals with such people effectively.
Israel has seen more such bombings and attacks and it happens frequently. They send the mental health experts along with the medical team. The way the first-aiders provide basic but crucial treatment immediately before the intensive medical treatment, the same way, such mental health experts provide Psychological First Aid.

This Psychological First Aider does two important things.
Firstly they put the victim with their loved ones. So that they feel warmth, secure and don’t feel alone. This helps the victim to diffuse traumatic feelings. If it’s not done immediately, it can create a long-term adverse effect.

Secondly, they ask the victim to narrate their experience.
They ask to verbalise what they feel. It helps to alter the meaning of the pain. They change the label of the feeling. Once they change the meaning of the pain, it also creates another less-threatening or most of the time comfortable meaning.

That’s what we need when we feel dumb or demotivated whilst working with people who are smarter or more talented than us.
We need to associate ourselves with people who give support, care and sense of belongingness. We need people who help us to minimise the intensity of the pain of rejection or demotivation. Yes, if we spend time with 5 talented people, we become talented too. But, we also need to know how to deal with feelings of being dumb against them. If they lift us when we are down, you can accelerate your success. That takes us to the end of the podcast. Let’s quickly summarise what we have covered.

Some psychological studies can prove that we feel unhappy when we are having what most people don’t.
Of course, it is. We must develop and become better. There are some ways we are discussed that can make us successful and happier. And also discussed the ways to deal with the problems along the way that keeps us going ahead and help us stay happy regardless of any big problems.

In the first part, we talked about how Your talent will not always help you if you are surrounded by highly successful and talented people.
If you are surrounded by highly talented people or competing with them, it will also have an opposite effect. You will relate yourself with them and you will not feel smarter. It will make you feel dumb and feel nervous about it. Success in life is not correlated with how smart you are, but how smart you ‘feel’ relative to people around you at your level.

So, should we spend time with or work with more successful people or not?
Well, in the second part, we found out that more skilled people around you will demotivate you because no matter how hard you try, you find it difficult outperform them. If you consistently fail to reach their level. It makes you feel dumber. When you constantly gauge your performance with successful and talented people around you, it makes you feel inferior. These emotions can drag you down.

Now, How to stay with sharp and talented people without feeling depressed?
Well, You need to associate yourselves with people who give support, care and sense of belongingness. We need people who help us to minimise the intensity of the pain of rejection or demotivation.

Yes, if we spend time with 5 talented people, we become talented too. But, we also need to know how to deal with feelings of being dumb against them. If they lift us when we are down, you can accelerate your success.

The One-Liner Report:

Why Customers Don’t Listen? – How to get them to listen to you with your One-Liner?

This report will show you how to explain your business in just one-line so that your customers listen and understand you as quickly as possible. Click on the button below and get a detailed ‘The One Liner Report’. It will take only 15 minutes to read.

Would you be able to turn your customers into your fan and keep them coming back to you?
“How to make our customers happy and keep them praising our brand?” The answer is not always in business strategies but mostly in psychology. If you know what makes your customers delighted, you will enjoy running your business. And, your customers will spread good words around about you.

Here’s how some of the best companies provide great customer service experience. You will know what makes your customers say ‘wow’.

Right-click here to save this episode.

What if you could predict what’s going to happen next?
This superpower is among many of us. If someone asks you, “who is one of the best footballers in the world in the last 20 years?” If you follow even slightest of the football, you will think of Christiano Ronaldo along with few others. He is probably the richest footballer in the world.

Any idea of how he became the best?
In 2011, Castrol launched its product called ‘Castrol Edge’. Castrol produced a global documentary-film starring it’s ambassador Cristiano Ronaldo. The documentary saw Ronaldo pushed to his limit through a series of scientific tests. Ronaldo was tested for his strength, speed and technique. One of the tests was conducted in a lab, where the ball was shot towards Ronaldo. 

But they did something unusual.
They switched off their lights as soon as they hit the ball. An ordinary footballer wouldn’t be able to find out where the ball is coming from and where it will go. But Ronaldo could figure out the movement of the ball even in the complete darkness. And this is what makes him great! He developed the ability to predict the movement of the ball. It’s this skill that separates him from the rest. 

What can we learn from Ronaldo?
Not only, Ronaldo, but almost all great companies also develop the same skill that makes them the best in their industry. They focus on predicting with a precision of what’s going to happen next. The best businesses have a competitive advantage due to their ability to focus on how to delight or should we say surprise the customers with the best experience. 

No strategy or tactics would work if you don’t know how to make your customers happy.
No business can ever grow with Ra Ra motivational talks, willpower or fancy marketing gimmicks. The health of the business is relying on the number of happy customers you have. Let’s find out how we can make our customers happy.

In this podcast episode, we are going to discuss three things.

1. Why do you need to predict the customers’ action accurately?
2. How to understand customers’ action easily?
3. How to get your customers to say ‘wow’?

Why ‘the Grand Del Mar Hotel’ is one of the best hotels in the world?
They don’t rely only on the traditional customer service approach of being nice with customers, clean rooms or faster internet. But they do something even better. They predict what the customer wants and will deliver even before the customers ask for it. They notice the customers very carefully and anticipate what they are going to do next. Most of the times, they are right.

There are hundreds of great reviews you can read on the internet but here’s the best one.
A writer at Forbes magazine, Carmine Gallo, shared his experience staying there. Let me share his words, “My daughters discovered a small sand area near the pool. Within seconds—not minutes—a staff member casually walked by and, without saying a word, dropped off sand toys for the kids. The kids looked up and there they were, seemingly out of nowhere.”

Where most people ask you to listen to your customers, ‘The grand del mar hotel’ does differently.
They anticipate the needs of the guest. It makes them stand out from the competition. This level of service leaves a positive impression. If you study the best brands in the area of customer service and all of them train employees to anticipate unexpressed wishes. It’s a key component to an exceptional customer experience. The best business is the best because they deliver the best customer service.

Listening is overrated when it comes to creating an exceptional customer experience.
Your customers will only tell you what they think they need, but how you meet their unexpressed needs makes all the difference. You don’t need a special superpower to know this. It’s possible. Let’s find out the second part of this podcast, how to do it easily, shall we?

Have you wondered why someone yawn or laugh, you also yawn or laugh?
You’re walking through a park when out of nowhere, the man in front of you falls down and injures badly. The blood is coming out of his nose. Automatically, you recoil in sympathy. Or you’re watching a race, and you feel your own heart racing with excitement as the runners battle to cross the finish line first. Or you see a woman smell some unfamiliar food and find the food disgusting. Suddenly, your own stomach turns at the thought of the meal.

It’s because of mirror neurons.
For years, such experiences have puzzled psychologists, neuroscientists and philosophers, who’ve wondered why we react at such a gut level to other people’s actions. How do we understand, so immediately and instinctively, their thoughts, feelings and intentions? Mirror neurons are a type of brain cell that respond equally when we perform an action and when we observe someone else perform the same action. 

It’s proved via some experiments.
In the 1990s, neurophysiologist Giacomo Rizzolatti and his colleagues placed electrodes in the brains of monkeys to study which neurons specialized in the hand and mouth movement. And quite by accident, they found that the same neurons fired up when the monkeys picked up a banana or when they observed someone else picking up a banana! If watching action and performing that action can activate the same parts of the brain in monkeys–down to a single neuron–then it makes sense that watching action and performing an action could also trigger the same feelings in people.

Our mind can not differentiate between what you do and what you see.
There is a part of our brain that does not distinguish between action and observation! For these neurons, seeing and doing is processed in the same way. And this has made learning possible.

These mirror neurons make us anticipate other people’s needs.
It makes us empathize with others. It is what makes yawning or laughing contagious. And it all happens automatically, without our conscious input. Simply on observation. 

That’s how Christiano Ronaldo learned to be the best footballer.
We discussed in this beginning that Ronaldo developed the skill to predict the movement of the ball. When the sports scientists put on an eye tracker on Ronaldo’s head while he was playing, they found something amazing. Most players track the ball while playing football. But Ronaldo tracks the hips and legs of the person who has the ball.

That was his superpower.
He could predict the next movement of the others. He can then know where the ball will go. Instead of focusing on the ball, he was focusing on the movements of the player who holds the ball. 

Why would he do that?
By focusing on the player’s movement, something magical happens. Mirror neurons fire up. And he could predict the movement of the players. He is better at anticipating where the player will move and direct the ball. This ability to read others makes him great at anticipating where the ball will go. But, how to know or anticipate precisely and deliver the ‘wow’ experience to your customers? Let’s find out in the third part of this podcast.

Why did Steve Jobs send the store managers to learn from a hotel?
Steve Jobs asked his store managers to attend a hospitality training session with the hotel ‘Ritz Carlton’. He wanted to create a great customer experience at his stores. To deliver the ‘wow’ experience, he asked his colleagues about the place they had a ‘wow’ service experience. Most of them suggested the ‘Ritz Carlton’ hotel.

What did he want the store managers to learn specifically?
One of the consistent steps of the Apple Store customer service model is three key things Ritz Carlton Hotel was doing. First, Welcome with a warm and sincere greeting with unconditional love and respect. Second, Anticipate each guest’s needs- Means listen for and resolve expressed and unexpressed needs. And third, End with a fond farewell.

Ritz Carlton trains their new employees for 250 hours. But for what?
They teach their employees to anticipate the need of the guests. They train their staff to listen to what their customers say and don’t say. Their employees are told to pay attention to every detail about a guest. They teach the staff in lots of scenarios to find out the information. And then, they show how to use that information to deliver the ‘wow’ experience to their guests. 

What can you do from now on to deliver ‘wow’ experience to your customers?
You have to be alert and note down what your customers like and what they don’t like. You may also find out what they absolutely don’t like. Understand the pattern and journey of your customers. Then anticipate what they will do next. And then make things easy for them.

It’s your job to minimize the pain and obstacles for your customers.
The staff at Ritz Carlton hotel put extra efforts for their customers. When a person leaves Ritz Carlton, they will be asked if they have their travel documents with them. If it’s a guest’s birthday, they will be surprised with a cake. If a person is going to leave very early, they will be asked if they would like a hot pot of coffee delivered to their room before checking out. That takes us to the end of the podcast.  

Let’s summarise and find out, what are you going to do next?
We started with how Christiano Ronaldo is one of the best footballers. He doesn’t track the ball, he tracks the player. You need to look at what your customers are doing and what they are going to do next. Then use that information and make it easy or better for them. Surprise them with your action they didn’t expect. It’s like you are reading their brain. They will appreciate your deep level of understanding their needs, desire and pain.

Most good hotels track the ball.
They focus on a clean room, nice furniture or wifi. They focus on regular operations only. A few select ones will even ask their guests if there is anything else they can do to make their stay comfortable. They will listen and respond. 

That’s not enough.
The exceptional hotels such as Ritz Carlton and The Grand Del Mar hotel go beyond that and track the player. They train their staff to observe the guests and anticipate their needs. You don’t have to focus on the ball, you have to focus on the player and anticipate. Identify their likely movements based on observation. It will become your second nature if you do it repeatedly.

It will work wonderfully.
You need to observe your customers precisely and you will easily predict their behaviour automatically. But, you need to be completely aware of focus. Practice will give you the superpower called ‘the intuition.

So, what’s the recipe to deliver world-class service to the customers? Observe, anticipate, and deliver the ‘wow’ experience.

The One-Liner Report:

Why Customers Don’t Listen? – How to get them to listen to you with your One-Liner?

This report will show you how to explain your business in just one-line so that your customers listen and understand you as quickly as possible. Click on the button below and get a detailed ‘The One Liner Report’. It will take only 15 minutes to read.

If you ever felt like you are worthless, you are not alone.
Most people can’t achieve their goals because of a lack of confidence. Our doubts and hesitation are costing us a lot. You don’t let your doubt and hesitation stop you.

Even if you think that it’s not possible to deal with challenges, You can develop confidence whenever you want.
In this podcast, you will find how seemingly easy techniques will make you confident and positive. The techniques are based on scientific research. They work if they are done right.

Right-click here to save this episode.

What’s the most famous and prestigious award in the entertainment industry? It’s Oscars or The Academy Awards.
It’s a dream of almost all actors and actresses to win an at least one Oscar award. These are awards for artistic and technical excellence in the film industry. How would it feel like winning the biggest movie award 21 times?

Meryl Streep is one of the finest actors the world has seen.
She has been nominated for a record 21 Oscars, seventeen for Best Actress, and four for Best Supporting Actress. and has won three academy awards! She has won three times for her work in Kramer vs. Kramer (1980), Sophie’s Choice (1983), and The Iron Lady (2012).

And yet, she feels like she is a fraud.
She thinks she is not good enough. Self-doubt bothers her: She thinks “Why would anyone want to see me again in a movie? I don’t know how to act anyway, so why am I doing this?”

But Why people feel worthless?
Everyone has something special to offer to the world. Everyone can and should create value. No matter how good or excellent we are, we sometimes lose confidence. Sometimes for a short time but many times, for a long time. Our doubts and hesitation are costing us a lot.

Many of our goals and plans are not done because we have a lack of confidence.
Can a person develop confidence whenever he wants? We all need confidence, when we create something, deliver something or to do something that’s challenging for us. In this podcast, we will discuss three things.

1. How our body posture can increase your confidence even if you are confused?
2. How doing something irrelevant things can make you positive?
3. How can you increase confidence by changing your expectation?

Our body can affect our brain.
In our workshop on NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), people learn how to change our emotion and confidence using our body and how the change in our body can affect our brain. The mind and body are connected. It’s a trick. There was someone who shared this beautifully.

Have you heard of power posing?
A famous Social psychologist Amy Cuddy and her colleagues conducted an experiment in 2010. She came up with this concept of power posing. Her message is simple. She suggested that our body language governs how we think and feel about ourselves, and thus, how we hold our bodies can have an impact on our minds.  In other words, by commanding a powerful stance, we can make ourselves actually feel more powerful.

Amy Cuddy did an interesting study at Harvard University.
She invited 42 participants randomly and divided them into one of two groups. The first group was the high power posing group: they were asked to sit tilted back in a chair with hands behind their head and their legs propped up on the table for a few minutes. They were asked to give expanding posture. The second group was the low power posing group: these people were asked to sit with their arms closed to their body and their hands in their laps. They were leaning inward and legs crossed. Cuddy found that those who sat in the high-power pose felt more powerful and performed better in mock interviews than those who had not.

There was also another interesting observation.
They were asked to share how powerful they felt on a scale of 1 to 4.
For the people who were in low power posing group, The average rating of feeling powerful was 1.83. On the other hand, for the people who were in high power posing group, the average rating of feeling powerful was 2.57!

That’s not all.
Cuddy and her colleagues also took saliva tests of all the participants before the experiment began and then once again 17 minutes after their pose on the chairs. Participants in the high power posing group showed higher levels of testosterone and lower levels of cortisol! Participants in the low power posing group showed the inverse: low testosterone and high cortisol levels. (Higher testosterone leads to more confidence and lower cortisol leads to less stress and anxiety!) Cuddy interpreted these hormonal effects as further evidence of increases in feelings of power.

Many people have tried using his technique after her TED talk was released.
Before interviews, job candidates would escape to the restroom to engage in two minutes of high power posing before meeting their interviewer. People have started practising it before they go for a sales presentation and important meetings.

So, what are you going to do from now on?
Sit in a high power position. It’s very powerful. It’s like magic. Many of our students have shared that when they are sitting in a high power position, their confidence goes higher. Sitting in a powerful pose will change your emotion and hormones. You will also take up more challenges with confidence. It will make you more powerful.

But does it always work?
Well, I used to think that it’s all bogus. It can never work. You have probably heard “Fake it till you make it”. It’s good advice. I tried this. It works probably all the time. Even it works in most of the time, it’s still better than doing nothing. 

So, try out.
If you act confident, you will feel confident too. Feeling more powerful after power posing is a major finding.  I find myself in many situations when I’d like to feel more powerful.  If adopting an expansive high power posture can help, I’m all in. That takes us to the second part of how doing something completely irrelevant can make you positive and confident?

How some actors can act so well that it doesn’t look like they are playing a role?
Robert De Niro is known to do whatever is necessary to truthfully convey his character. For a famous movie, Taxi Driver, Rober De Niro worked 12-hour shifts and would pick up passengers in New York City during breaks on set. As a result, he acted so perfectly. It is this kind of dedication that comes across in the best De Niro movies.

Marlon Brando is also known for his excellent acting skill.
To prepare for The Men, Brando stayed in a hospital bed for an entire month to get in the mindset for the injured veteran he’d be playing. In Brando’s best films, he doesn’t seem to be acting at all but embodying the character.

Have you heard of Method Acting?
Some of the most famous Hollywood stars, Marlon Brando, Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, Al Pacino, Kate Winslet etc. are known for their method acting. Method acting is a technique or type of acting in which an actor aspires to encourage sincere and emotionally expressive performances by fully inhabiting the role of the character. It is an emotion-oriented technique instead of classical acting that is primarily action-based.

Why are we talking about method acting?
Before we talk more about it, let’s talk about the power of rituals or practice. You can perform to make yourself feel confident is to build up a ritual. Athletes who follow rituals before their game feel more confident about their abilities. And this confidence leads to better performance. They go into the role of a high performer and gain confidence. In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), this technique is known as Anchoring. 

Even funny rituals work.
Michael Jordan was wearing his North Carolina University shorts underneath his Chicago Bulls shorts in every game. A famous Indian cricketer, Virat Kohli adjusts his helmet in a peculiar and unnatural way before every cricketing shot he plays.

We also sometimes do it unknowingly.
Research done by Barbara Stoberock and her colleagues from the University of Cologne shows that even a simple ritual like crossing your fingers for luck makes people feel more confident.

Why do rituals work?
Because we feel anxious in new and uncertain situations. And rituals help us feel in control. Anything that you do to reduce your anxiety will help you with your confidence. This could be playing a pep song before attending sales meetings or clapping your boots together before entering a room. Build small rituals and you’ll feel in command and full of confidence.

But what to do if you want to feel confidence deeper?
This is where you can use ‘method acting’ as we discussed earlier. The difference between normal acting and method acting is that normal acting is just about changing behavior physically. Whereas method acting is feeling the emotions mentally so that acting seems natural. 

What can you do to feel more confident?
Well, you can pick up any gesture, song or a unique behaviour when you want to dive into the character of a confident person. Practice this unique and weird gesture repeatedly. It will become your second nature. You will be able to dive into a high level of confidence instantly. That takes us to the final part of the podcast,

How can you increase confidence by changing your expectation?
Robert Rosenthal is professor of social psychology at Harvard University. He did an experiment which is known as Rosenthal effect or Pygmalion effect. In 1965, the authors conducted an experiment in a public elementary school in California.

In this school, Young students were given an IQ test.
And after the results, their teachers were told about the students who have the potential to perform extra-ordinarily and they will be in the top 20% of the class.

But, the teachers were lied to.
Robert Rosenthal randomly names the students, without looking at the results of their tests. He just randomly selected the names and reported to teachers. That means the result was fake. 

Even if the result of the IQ test was fake, something dramatic happened afterwards.
After a year, all the students are given another IQ test. The students who were listed as being in the top 20% improved their IQ scores by 10-15 points when compared to their others! The expectations have changed the outcome.

It’s called a Pygmalion effect.
The Pygmalion effect is an example of a self-fulfilling prophecy–something that causes itself to come true due to positive feedback. Another well-known self-fulfilling prophecy is the Placebo Effect.  The Pygmalion effect is a psychological phenomenon wherein high expectations lead to improved performance in a given area.

Expectations changed performance.
The children who were labelled as smart ended up increasing their smarts the most! Expectations can influence everything from our perception of taste and enjoyment of experiences to our performance on specific tasks. … In general, high expectations improve performance, whereas low expectations seem to undermine achievement. You need to change the label that you give to yourself and it will change the expectations from you. You’ve got to label yourself as confident.

But how do you do that and make yourself believe your labels?
The way you talk to yourself can make a huge difference in your performance. Yes, we heard this from many motivational speakers. Let’s find out why exactly it works. Researcher Antonis Hatzigeorgiadis and his colleagues at the University of Thessaly in Greece conducted a research experiment with the help of 60 swimming class students. The students were asked to evaluate their skills for playing water polo. They were tested on how accurately they throw the ball and how far they throw it! Each student was tested for 20 minutes.

He added something interesting into it.
Half the students were given instructions to talk to themselves between every time they threw the ball. And these students who used motivational self-talk dramatically improved their performance and became better at throwing the ball than the others!

Motivational self-talk sounds woo-woo mumbo jumbo.
But it works. Just repeatedly telling yourself that you’re a confident person will make the label stick.

Here’s something even more powerful.
A research done by Ethan Kross of the University of Michigan shows that self-talk in second or third person works better than the first person. Saying “you can do this” instead of “I can do this” to yourself works better because it makes you think objectively. Do you remember what we discussed earlier about setting high expectations from yourself? That’s right. You need to improve your self-talk and expect yourself to perform high.

That takes us to the end of the third part of this podcast. Let’s summarise what we have covered so far.
Many of our goals and plans are not done because we have a lack of confidence. Can a person develop confidence whenever he wants? We all need confidence, when we create something, deliver something or to do something that’s challenging for us. In this podcast, we discussed three things. We started with how our body posture can help us in increasing our confidence? Sit in a high power position. It’s very powerful. It’s like magic. It increases your confidence dramatically. Try out. Then we talked about rituals and method acting.

Rituals help us feel in control.
This could be playing a pep song before attending sales meetings or clapping your boots together before entering a room. Build small rituals and you’ll feel in command and full of confidence. Pick up any gesture, song or a unique behaviour when you want to dive into the character of a confident person. Finally, we talked about how the way you talk to yourself can improve your confidence. Notice your self-talk. Just repeatedly telling yourself that you’re a confident person will make the label stick. Saying “you can do this” instead of “I can do this” to yourself works better because it makes you think objectively.

The One-Liner Report:

Why Customers Don’t Listen? – How to get them to listen to you with your One-Liner?

This report will show you how to explain your business in just one-line so that your customers listen and understand you as quickly as possible. Click on the button below and get a detailed ‘The One Liner Report’. It will take only 15 minutes to read.

Why do we get stuck when we work hard but can’t get ahead?
When you start and run a business, it’s easy to get locked into what we already do. And it’s a big mistake. Is there a way to get ahead in life and business without doing gimmicks and cheat? How can we run the business without being unethical?

By the end of this podcast, you will find out how to how to get out of the gravity force that keeps you stuck. And How to move ahead faster with lesser challenges and efforts?

Right-click here to save this episode.

How much speed does a spacecraft require to escape from the gravity of the earth and enter the space?
It’s called the Escape velocity. Escape velocity is the speed at which an object must travel to break free of a planet’s gravitational force and enter orbit. To leave the surface of the earth, A spacecraft needs to be going about 11 kilometres (7 miles) per second. That’s over 40,000 kilometres per hour (25,000 miles per hour), to enter orbit. Yes, it’s 11 kms per second. And even more, To escape the Sun’s gravity, a spaceship has to fly at a speed of more than 42km per second from Earth! It’s impossible for a conventional spaceship to do it.

But someone made it possible.
It requires the basic physics and maths to launch spaceships at much lower speeds from the earth and still escape Sun’s gravity. It’s now easier than ever before to escape from the gravity of the earth. Hundreds of rockets leave the orbit of earth and float in the space every year.

We also work harder and invest a lot of our energy and wish we can just escape the chain that holds us back.
We wish we can find something that helps us in going ahead of our business easier.  People do all sorts of things to move ahead in their life. They take shortcuts, do some gimmicks or play some tricks. On the other hand, it’s being said that there is no such thing as a shortcut to success. I believe that there is no such thing as a shortcut but there is a way to speed up our success.

In this podcast, we will talk about 3 things.

1. How can we utilise the force of others without being unethical?
2. How can we learn faster?
3. How others can help you without being selfish?

August 25, 2012, marked a momentous day for humankind.
But hardly anyone noticed it. And even fewer people celebrated it. It was the first time a man-made object left our solar system and entered interstellar space! Voyager 1 travelled more than 18 billion km over almost 35 years and crossed out of our solar system. And for the first time, we got something to escape our Sun and its gravity! To escape the Sun’s gravity is no easy feat.

In fact, scientists in the 1960s thought it would be impossible.
In 1961, 25-year old Michael Minovitch was just hired as a summer employee at the Jet Propulsion Lab (JPL) in California.

He found something interesting.
An object could steal some energy from the rotating planet and speed itself up away from the sun!  To understand what’s happening in a very simplistic language, imagine this: if a ball hits a wall, it bounces back at about the same speed.

But if the ball hits a moving train, it bounces back at a much faster speed!
From a planet’s point of view, the planet is stationary like a wall. It just sees an object change its direction, not gain speed. But if you see things from the sun’s point of view, the planet is moving, and so an object bouncing from it gains speed away from the sun!

Milankovitch proposed that a moving planet’s gravity could slingshot our spaceships at a faster speed!
This meant that we just needed to provide enough energy to allow the spaceship to escape Earth’s gravity and reach Mars or Jupiter. And then use those planet’s gravity to slingshot the spaceship further away at a faster speed!  A few years later on, aerospace engineer Gary Flandro realized that Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune would all align on one side of the Sun together in the late 1970s.

This happens only once every 176 years!
This was a golden window – an opportunity to save money and study all the planets at once. We wouldn’t have to send individual spacecraft to each planet separately. The result was the Voyager program by NASA. Two spaceships Launched from Earth in 1977 with enough fuel to escape Earth and reach Jupiter. And then use Jupiter to be slingshotted away further on their journey!

Voyager 1 gained 10km per second from Jupiter. And 5km per second from Saturn.
The two Voyager spacecraft allowed us to study the outer planets and some of their moons. But that’s not all, they also allowed us to study the heliosphere beyond the outer planets. And almost 35 years later, in 2012, Voyager 1 finally became the first man-made object to completely escape the Sun’s gravity and send us data from interstellar space! Voyager 2 followed it and escaped the Sun a few years later.

Why we are talking about it?
The lesson to learn is that we too can slingshot and speed up our way to success. By entering the orbit of a force bigger than us, we can borrow their energy! Our network can help us in moving ahead faster. But how does it happen? You have probably heard that you are the average of five people you spend time with. Choose your peers carefully. You need a few very good people who can uplift you easily. Their gravity will push you in the direction you want.

What could go wrong?
The wrong people may send you in the wrong direction where you don’t want to go. That’s why it’s important to choose your network. They can suck your energy. They can waste your time and energy.

Where can you find them?
Well, your clients can be a powerful source. The quality of your existing clients can define the quality of your future clients. Many people choose or end up working with the wrong clients and put their time, money and peace of mind in trouble. You can join any networking group. Meet them and be helpful to them. Some people are really good at paying back what you deliver selflessly. They will uplift you in return for your favour.

Also, you can be part of some groups on social media.
Be generous and kind to others. Ask for the support. You will never know some people will take you to the new orbit. And you will be surprised. You can learn a lot of things faster from them?

But how do we learn faster from others?
When I was 9 years old, I joined a class to learn cricket in a local sports academy. Cricket is one of the most or should I say the most favourite sports of Indians.

So, here I joined the class.
I used to play in my street and local playgrounds but I wanted to do it better. There were many children just like me who were playing at that cricket academy.

But nobody was showing us how to bat and bowl appropriately.
Instead, we all randomly did what we wanted to do. It wasn’t a good experience but some trainers were ready to show me in exchange for some extra fees on how to bat and bowl better than average people. So, I paid them extra to learn. And I learned some basic tricks in just 10 days what others take 2 or more months to learn.

How was it possible?
Well, The trainer showed me the mistakes that average cricketers make and fail. Then he showed me how to fix those mistakes. 

There was something even more interesting.
He also gave me a very big lesson. You don’t have to do all those mistakes. You can learn from someone who has made all those mistakes and corrected those mistakes. Or maybe you can learn from someone who shows you the mistakes others make and tell you how to fix them.

How do we do it?
In our course, “Offer Craft”, we show people the common mistakes that cost them a lot of money and pain. We share the mistakes others make with lots of examples, stories and case studies. It becomes easier for participants to find and fix errors in their marketing and sales message.It helps them in saving money, time and frustration. You can get more detail on the course on www.mayurbardolia.com/implement or you can buy the ebook ‘offer craft’ from amazon.

 Warren Buffett succeeded by studying under value investor Benjamin Graham.
Oprah Winfrey was mentored by Barbara Walters. By finding successful mentors, you can speed up your success. How do you find and convince a successful person to mentor you?

You simply show potential and commitment.
And then ask. People like helping others who they think will make it big. That’s how Mark Zuckerberg convinced Steve Jobs to become his mentor when Facebook was still growing. 

So, what you need to do?
You need to find a mentor, trainer or coach who can show you how to find and fix errors as quickly as possible. You can also observe others and find out what mistakes they make. You don’t necessarily have to pass through pain and frustration of doing mistakes when you can just learn from others’ mistakes. It will increase the speed of your success.

You will learn a lot quicker and make tremendous progress.
It will lift you up and put you to the next level. Show promise and commitment and other successful people will be willing to help you. There is also another thing you can do which is to succeed faster by helping others

The birds and bees have a powerful mechanism to help nature flourish quickly.
The birds and the bees do this naturally, and we can, too. It’s called cross-pollination. They fly from one flower to another, or one tree to the next, picking up bits of one plant and carrying it to the other. The plant on the receiving end of this pollination is hardier and able to reproduce with greater variety. It meets environmental challenges more successfully because it’s genetically diverse.

And the same system can be applied in your business too.
When you cross-pollinate ideas, you make your business stronger. You’ll be better able to know how others deal with difficulties and survive. Connect with the people who are likeminded. It’s better if they are at least at your level of business or even better than you.

Build a relationship with them.
Join mastermind groups where likeminded people meet regularly and discuss the ideas, problems, solutions and trends. I have seen many of them freely discuss their issues with each other. They can share the solution they have tried to deal with the problem that you face. They share wonderful ideas too.

We are going to build a group and it will be a membership site, where businesses can come together and ask for help.
We are happy to support businesses by giving the answers not in one or two lines but in so much detail. This will be the place where you can ask any question and we will answer. It will launch probably in the mid of 2021. You can contact us on mayur@mayurbardolia.com for more information. But in the meantime, keep your eyes open to sources for ideas is the first step.

Having a system for gathering and using these ideas is important too
Really great ideas can be found where you least expect them. Don’t be shy away. Just ask. Join hands if possible. Yes, some business will welcome you if you build up a mutually beneficial relationship. There is also another good thing you can do by joining someone who already is doing well and collaborate with them.

Microsoft succeeded because microchips were getting affordable that allowed everyone to have their own personal computer on every table.
Uber succeeded because smartphones blew up. You can tag yourself to a fast-moving trend and fly off faster! Try to find what is already growing in demand and adapt your product to that field. That takes us to the end of the third part.

Let’s summarise what we have covered so far.
We also work harder and invest a lot of our energy and wish we can just escape the chain that holds us back. We wish we can find something that helps us in going ahead of our business easier.

How can we do it?
Well, we started with the first idea. You have probably heard that you are the average of five people you spend time with. Choose your peers carefully. You need a few very good people who can uplift you easily. Their gravity will push you in the direction you want.

But beware of the wrong company.
They can also pull you down. Choose your clients, vendors, colleagues and network wisely. The right people can easily lift you higher and help you to succeed faster.

You don’t have to do all those mistakes.
You need to find a mentor, trainer or coach who can show you how to find and fix errors as quickly as possible. You can also observe others and find out what mistakes they make. You don’t necessarily have to pass through pain and frustration of doing mistakes when you can just learn from others’ mistakes. It will increase the speed of your success. You will learn a lot quicker and make tremendous progress.

You’ll be better able to know how others deal with difficulties and survive.
Connect with the likeminded people. It’s better if they are at least at your level of business or even better than you. Build a relationship with them. Join mastermind groups where likeminded people meet regularly and discuss the ideas, problems, solutions and trends. There is also another good thing you can do by joining someone who already is doing well and collaborate with them.

You can tag yourself to a fast-moving trend and fly off faster!

The One-Liner Report:

Why Customers Don’t Listen? – How to get them to listen to you with your One-Liner?

This report will show you how to explain your business in just one-line so that your customers listen and understand you as quickly as possible. Click on the button below and get a detailed ‘The One Liner Report’. It will take only 15 minutes to read.

Why do we easily follow what others are doing even if they are illogical?
We take illogical actions when we do what others are doing. We need to think and act independently without others influencing us. So, that you can take better decisions

But what if we can not get escape from the illogical crowd?
In this podcast, you will know why we get pulled into the crowd even if we don’t want. By the end of this episode, you will know how can we stand out from the crowd and think independently.

Right-click here to save this episode.

History was made in May of 1869.
The first transcontinental railroad was completed in America! And it changed the country. It was a 1,912-mile (3,077 km) continuous railroad line constructed between 1863 and 1869. It connected the existing eastern U.S. rail network at Iowa state with the Pacific coast at the Oakland Long Wharf on San Francisco Bay.

It made people’s life easier.
People could travel quickly. The transportation of goods became efficient. As a result, trade and business prospered. Interestingly, due to this train, it became possible for fresh fruits and vegetables to be available in the market all year round. So, the American population on the whole became healthier.

Also, Trains made America richer.
So many companies started working with the railway grew faster so more companies got attracted in doing business with the railway industry. Companies jumped in to build railway tracks to take the chunk of big profit.

But did you know that within 25 years – by 1894 – half the companies working in the railway business had gone bankrupt?
Why were so many companies going bankrupt when the whole railway industry was growing like crazy? They built a lot more train tracks very close to each other than demand justifies – leading to multiple bankruptcies! People jumped in the business because they saw that others are making a profit so they would too. 

We do similar.
We look at others and see they are doing well, so we jump in too. We look at the crowd and we join the crowd. And when we join the crowd, we take actions based on what the crowd is doing. The crowd has no brain and when there is no brain involved in decision making, we take irrational decisions and actions. It’s called the herd mentality. And herd mentality always leads to irrational actions.

So, in this podcast, we will find

• Why we follow what others are doing?
• How to escape from the crowd?
• What to do if you can’t escape from the crowd? 

In early 2020, the coronavirus pandemic hit the world.
The rate of unemployment broke all records in every country. The businesses were collapsing. Many people lost their jobs. The world became stagnant. The economy was under trouble. 

And yet, we saw the stock markets rise.
Yes, on the contrary, the stock market was doing progress. It’s something that many people wonder. Why would the stock market rise when the economy is performing so poorly? To understand these phenomena, we have to first understand what happened on the 86th floor of the World Trade Tower during 9/11.

What would you do when an aeroplane has just crashed into your building?
Would you panic? Would you run for your lives? One group of colleagues on the 86th floor of one of the twin towers did neither. Instead of evacuating, the group collectively gathered in a conference room to discuss their options. All of them were terrified. And yet all of them regrouped to see what their friends were going to do.

When the National Transportation Safety Board interviewed several aeroplane crash survivors, they found something very interesting.
The first thing people do in times of trouble is not panic. But they look at what their neighbours are doing. If their neighbour is panicking, they’ll panic too. And if their neighbours are calm, they’ll be calm too.

Monkey see monkey do.
Over twenty years ago, a team of scientists, led by Giacomo Rizzolatti at the University of Parma, Italy, discovered special brain cells, called mirror neurons, in monkeys. These cells appeared to be activated both when the monkey did something itself and when the monkey simply watched another monkey do the same thing.

We copy our neighbours even in mundane tasks.
Professor Jens Krausse of Leeds University and his colleagues gathered a bunch of people in a big hall. And instructed them all to walk randomly inside the hall. But Krausse gave explicit instructions to walk a very particular path to only 5% of the participants.

And guess what happened?
The other 95% of people who were asked to walk randomly – copied and followed the 5% and everyone walked in the same path! This thoughtless copying causes all the problems. People jump in the bandwagon without realising why they are joining. As soon as they become part of the crowd, they think and act by what the crowd is doing.
Everyone in the group follows each other. There is no one to lead the crowd and everybody is leading everyone else.

This crowd mentality is causing problems in business too.
As we discussed in the beginning, we talked about the transcontinental railroad in the USA. And we discussed that the half the companies working in the railway business had gone bankrupt? The question is “Why were so many companies going bankrupt when the whole railway industry was growing like crazy?” This herd mentality of following the crowd causes all the mismatch between productivity and economy. 

Technically, the economy should grow as our productivity improves.
When trains improve trade, people who build trains and tracks should prosper. But we humans copy till things reach their breaking point. We stretch things too far and too fast. The herd mentality leads to irrational actions. People build a lot more train tracks very close to each other than demand justifies. It led to multiple bankruptcies! So, don’t follow the crowd because they don’t know who is leading and everybody follows each other illogically and take silly actions. But what should we do instead?

We probably all have MCB installed in our house.
MCB means Miniature Circuit Breaker. A circuit breaker is an automatically operated electrical switch. They switch off automatically when excess current passes through the circuit. It saves from an overload or short circuit. Its basic function is to interrupt current flow after a fault is detected.

We lack the circuit breaker. We also need a switch like this.
When we are thinking like a crowd, it’s a never-ending cycle. We have been programmed to follow what others are doing. When we do something different, we get laughed at or maybe get bullied. When we want to stand out of the crowd, the crowd pulls us back in. 

We need to do something extra to get out of the crowd.
People who are part of the crowd believe that He who is not with us is against us. He who is not like us is our enemy. By being part of the crowd, we start believing the same. We need to get out of this belief.

Did you know that the most successful stock investor in the world does not stay anywhere close to Wall Street?
Warren Buffet is known as the most successful stock investor in the world. Surprisingly, he doesn’t live near Wall street or anywhere close to New York. Warren Buffett realized that he is getting influenced by what the other stockbrokers are speculating on constantly. So, he moved from New York to Omaha, Nebraska. By insulating himself from the crowd, he made better decisions.

That’s the easy way of escaping the herd: change your environment.
We humans are not prepared to go against the crowd. Whenever we engage in social behaviour, our brains release oxytocin which makes us feel happy. Agreeing with others releases oxytocin and makes us feel warm and safe. And so, the most effective way to break the circuit and reject this oxytocin joy is to change the environment. Go somewhere where you can think and act independently without others influencing you. 

When we started training and coaching, we were also influenced by what others were doing.
It made us frustrated. It made us think we were worthless. Where almost every one of my competitors was promoting themselves and their courses via paid advertisements and brutal promotional activities and PR activities, we decided to stay away and doing our work. Not only we did what we wanted to do but we also made it better and created our unique identity. Where everyone else in my industry is just delivering information and knowledge, we guarantee to teach the skill and expertise. It’s harder doing things differently but we enjoy doing it.

How did we do it?
We changed the place we work than others did. We met different sorts of people who are the clients we dreamed of. we created things that others hate doing it. You also need to change your environment. Change the people you deal with if you are not happy with them. Change the place where you can not be influenced.

But what if you can’t change your environment?
You have to be like a chameleon. Chameleons change based simply on their environment, a very clever camouflage to hide from predators. Chameleons are wonderfully biopsychosocial. It means, they change colour in response to physical, environmental and emotional needs. A chameleon has great power – it explores and changes to its surroundings. It changes colour as it moves in the world to suit the environment, and it also changes colour depending on its mood and emotions.

We can be like chameleons.
Move and explore different environments, practice the power of adjustment and change. Remember, it’s not just about your physical environment, you can move and adapt through your social and emotional environment as well. Go on, be like a chameleon.’

What if you can’t change yourself?
Then you have to do the much harder task. You have to build up your “cynical” muscle. You have to train yourself to question every assumption and every solution. You have to dig deeper which usually takes a lot more effort. This is often uncomfortable and tiring.

But it’s the only way to know when the crowd is wrong.
You need to put everything on the test. Just because everyone is doing, it doesn’t mean they are right. If everyone believes what is true, it doesn’t mean it’s true.

As we discussed in the first part, in the short term, the crowd mentality wins but they are mostly illogical. Stand out with courage and confidence. It’s painful now but you will thank yourself later.

The One-Liner Report:

Why Customers Don’t Listen? – How to get them to listen to you with your One-Liner?

This report will show you how to explain your business in just one-line so that your customers listen and understand you as quickly as possible. Click on the button below and get a detailed ‘The One Liner Report’. It will take only 15 minutes to read.

Why is it difficult to complete our work with focus?
We overestimate our productivity in a day. In the morning, We believe we are going to finish all the tasks but 20-30% of things rarely see the end.

How can we finish what we start without losing focus?
In this podcast, you will know the small strategies that will make a big impact. You will be able to increase your productivity by 30-40%

Right-click here to save this episode.

I remember a friend of mine who got married last year.
He married in December 2019. He fixed his date of marriage in June’2019. He had 6 months to prepare. He wanted him once in a lifetime event to be successful and memorable. And why not? He was sharing his planning with me for all the events that led to the final wedding day.

I am not too sure if you know but in India, the wedding event most of the time stretch for 3-7 days.
He was taking care of every single thing that is required in each small event before the wedding. The clothes, the wedding hall decoration, religious rituals, invitation cards etc. That’s a lot of things. And he managed to do all those things well and his wedding event was successful. Everything went according to the plan. The perfect plan executed perfectly.

But that’s not what happens in our business.
It’s December 2020 right now. It’s almost the end of 2020. I am currently planning for 2021. That’s what people generally do. I have been planning every year since probably 2012. I think most businesses and even individuals do yearly planning. If not, quarterly, monthly or daily. But you know and I know that most of the planning fails.

Forget about yearly or monthly goals, We overestimate our productivity in a day.
In the morning, We believe we are going to finish all the tasks but 20-30% of things rarely see the end. Since 2018, I managed to finish almost 50-60% of my tasks. I know this number is not so huge but it’s bigger than completing 20-30% of the tasks.

It’s hard to get focused and do the damn things.
So here you go, We are going to discuss 3 things that will help you to get more focused.

1. Why I eliminate more than I select?
2. How managing your body clock can increase your focus by 20%
3. What to do when you are not in a mood to do things?

Let’s start with the first one, shall we?

Henry Kissinger is an American politician, diplomat, and geopolitical consultant.
He served as United States Secretary of State and National Security Advisor. He worked under the presidential administrations of Richard Nixon. When a young man asked him if he would give some career advice.

Henry answered, ‘NO’.
Just ‘NO’. When the young man turned around to go away, Kissinger stopped him. And explained: “My advice is ‘NO’. Always let your first answer be NO.” To do more and great things, you have to learn to say ‘NO’. You can’t say yes to all. Not everything needs your attention. Not everything needs to be done. You have to be selective in the tasks you say yes to. There are 10-50 or 100 things are flying over our head. We can’t do all. You can’t say ‘YES’ to all.

That’s too much to do.
You are going to finish very few tasks and those few tasks will require your intense focus. You can’t focus intensely on 100 things. You have to learn to focus. When you pay attention to a task, your energy flow towards it. If you scatter your energy, you are not going to complete the task. I am writing the script of this podcast sitting in a far corner of a cafe where nothing is distracting me.

For example, Solar energy – the Sun’s rays are not too hot.
But they’ll burn the grass  with fire if focused through a magnifying glass. As Sam Parker says: “At 211 degrees (Fahrenheit), water is hot. At 212 degrees, it boils. And with boiling water, comes steam. And with steam, you can power a train.” You have to focus and persevere to reach the boiling stage.

When Steve Jobs returned to Apple in 1996-97, he cut down the product line from 350 products to just 10.
This allowed him to focus Apple’s energy and resources in creating the iPod. That revolutionized the music industry forever and was the beginning of Apple becoming the most valued company in the world! We know that focusing is important. But this knowledge doesn’t make focusing easy. Why do we find focusing difficult?

There are two reasons for it.
1. Attention requires energy. Focusing your attention consumes glucose and other metabolic resources. It drains you.
2. Being focused and doing the same thing is boring. Predictability is boring to our minds. And that’s why we chase new and exciting things.
You have to fix these issues to make focusing easy. Let’s find out how to manage our daily routine that will increase your focus by at least 20%. Let’s dive into the second part, shall we?

The leader of the orchestra is called the ‘Conductor.
He provides the beat by moving his/her arms, usually with a baton in one hand. He keeps all members of the orchestra together and ensures that players come in at the correct time. The master conductor knows when the music should go high and when it should go down.

He knows what increases the energy in the audience and what makes them bored.
If the beats are played at too high consistently, it makes the audience exhausted. If he plays lower beats consistently, the audience will not enjoy. The conductor of the orchestra directs the instrument players elegantly by managing the timings of high and low beats.

Our body has the same sort of orchestra happening inside.
It’s called the Circadian rhythm. A circadian rhythm is like an orchestra. It’s the united expression of the rhythms of millions of cells, a common chemical may serve as the conductor, or at least as the baton. Time your focus. Your ability to pay attention peaks with your circadian rhythm.

Just like how the Sun’s rays can be focused the most at noon, your body’s energy also peaks at a certain time.
If you sync your most important work during those times, your ability to focus and do better work will improve. This is extremely important but often neglected. Research done on athletes have shown that when their bodies are at their circadian peak, they are more likely to beat world records.

Playing at your peak matters.
So pay attention and listen to your body to see what time of the day you feel most focused. Find out at what time, your body performs at the peak. Do the things that require high energy during that time. You will get a lot more done. When your body is not performing at peak at specific times, do the things that require the lower energy.

Know the clock that ticks in your body and you will know how to manage your energy to manage the tasks.
When you focus, the brain functions in a specific way. You need to train your brain. Focus is a muscle. And just like any muscle, it also needs downtime to be replenished. Scheduling breaks between tasks is important to be able to better focus and perform with higher productivity. Take some breaks. Our body needs some time to recharge. 20-30 minutes Naps have also been proven to improve concentration and productivity. That takes us to the third part.  It’s about what to do when we are not in the right emotional state?

During the 1970 British Open Golf championship, Doug Sanders missed winning the tournament.
He missed because of his mistake of concentration on an easy shot. He missed putting the ball from 3 feet away – something he could have done in his sleep! Sanders exclaimed later on that he was preparing the victory speech in his mind at that time!

It’s easy to get distracted. It’s difficult to stay in the present moment.
We are thinking far too much about the past or far too much about the future. We think and generate emotions. And these emotional distractions take our focus away. When we think of the past or the future, we have certain emotions such as anger, pride, greed, hate, jealousy, excitement and lust. They can destroy our focus.

So, what to do?
Well, I do meditation. There are hundreds of ways to meditate. You can pick up any meditation exercise that suits you. Learn mindfulness meditation. Learn to calm your mind down. Stop going far too much in the past or too much in the future.

Two psychologists called, Sheard and Golby, did research on swimmers about how mindfulness exercise works.
They found out that swimmers improved their strokes, even when they spent just 45 minutes a week on mindfulness exercises like visualization and concentration. Just a few minutes of focusing on your breathing can get you focused. Making a practice of such mindfulness will make you better focused throughout the rest of the day. That takes us to the end of this podcast.

Let’s summarise what we have covered so far. It’s hard to get focused and do things. We covered how can we get focused and do the things that we need to do.
We started with the first thing that we need to eliminate more things than we select. We need to say ‘NO’ to more things. You can’t focus intensely on 100 things. You have to learn to focus. When you pay attention to a task, your energy flow towards it. If you scatter your energy, you are not going to complete the task.

Then in the second part, we discussed the circadian rhythm.
There is a clock in your body that tells you the time when you can perform at peak. So pay attention and listen to your body to see what time of the day you feel most focused. Find out at what time, your body performs at the peak. Do the things that require high energy during that time. You will get a lot more done. If you force your brain to do things when your body is performing at peak, you will win. When your body is not performing at peak at specific times, do the things that require the lower energy.

Then in the third part, we talked about managing our emotional state.
It’s easy to get distracted. It’s difficult to stay in the present moment. We are thinking far too much about the past or far too much about the future. When we think of the past or the future, we have certain emotions such as anger, pride, greed, hate, jealousy, excitement and lust. They can destroy our focus. To take charge of your emotional state, do meditation, mindfulness exercises or anything that keeps you in the present moment.

Before we wrap up this podcast, let me share a big question that will get you focused intensely and instantly.
In a book on focus called “The One Thing”, Gary Keller gives us the lens through which we should focus our energy. He asks “What’s the one thing that I can do such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary?” The answer to this question helps us in directing our focused energy to a place where it’ll have the most impact.

Find that one thing that can do such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary.

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